Halloween is Not on a Weekend This Year and Some of You Should Care About that Fact

My friends are really badass, but I worry they have their priorities all fucking wrong.  I mean, what is so great about these parties that can't wait 'til next year when Halloween will finally be on a Friday night?  Do they plan to die before then?  I mean, maybe death is a worry for those who live life in the fast lane by going out on work nights, but not me; I don't worry about that shit in the least, because I'm a responsible adult.  I'm the type of adult that wears sensible shoes while driving and always shuts the shower curtain after bathing.

Just wait until next year, worker people, you'll thank me for it on Friday when you still have your jobs.

This is from 2009, which is the last time Halloween fell on a weekend.  Never forget.