Whilst my fellow Americans slowly give up on pronouncing Boehner correctly, I decided to re-focus my attention on another set of clowns: North Korea. Here's a delightful quote released today from the KCNA, "[the] U.S. will be wholly accountable for the unexpected horrible disaster to be met by its imperialist aggression forces' nuclear strike means." For starters, you lost me after "horrible disaster," as I cannot decipher the rest of the English phrasing. I mean, the real threat here is North Korea seems to be utilizing Google Translate rather than hiring a legitimate translator. Eh, maybe they spent all their money building a skull-shaped island where they house a gargantuan laser that will blow up the sun; naturally, they couldn't afford a decent translator to warn us of of their prowess and our impending doom after such large villainous expenditures. At the end of the day, I have no idea what's going on with those guys, but I've decided to only show fear when Dennis Rodman decides to leave the country for no good reason. Dennis Rodman, I turn to you.
Then there's the whole mystery threat thing. I'm not sure how many Batman movies these guys watched, but last I checked, these types of threats are best used when trying to strike fear in the hearts of the citizens of Gotham; doesn't work so much in real life. I see the word "nuclear" in there, so maybe that's the mystery threat. This is worse than the time in 6th grade when I tried to figure out what the growth on Ms. Blye's neck was. For those of you now on the edge of your seats, it was eczema.
